Kisses (a.k.a. Sock Her On Her Kisser)

Traditional, published by Willie Woodward & Co. (broadside), 1882.

When a girlie falls in love with her little turtledove,
She lingers all around him at the door.
She kisses him for her mother, her sisters and her brothers,
Till her daddy comes and kicks him out the door.

Pulls his pistol from his pocket, draws the hammer for to cock it.
He says he’ll blow away that giddy brain.
His ducky says he must not; ’tisn’t loaded so he does not,
Then they’re kissing one another once again.

How the old maids love it, the widows are above it,
Ev’rybody has their finger in the pie.
Some are so very haughty they think it’s very naughty,
But you c’n bet your life they’ll do it on the sly.

Now a girlie seventeen, she thinks it’s very mean
If she can’t catch on something for her mash.
How she’ll pucker up her mouth in a pretty little pout,
And she’ll fumble under his big black mustache.

How she’ll make a fella shiver; she’ll make him jump a river.
She’ll stick to him like granulated glue.
But don’t you dare tell her you’re some other girlie’s fella,
She’ll amputate your smeller if you do.

How the old maids love it, the widows are above it,
Ev’rybody has their finger in the pie.
Some are so very haughty, they think it’s very naughty,
But you c’n bet your life they’ll do it on the sly.

Now if you want to do it neatly, do it sweetly and completely,
If you want to do it so as [to] be nice.
Make a dive as you kiss her, or a smack or two then miss her,
And sock it on her kisser once or twice.

How the old maids love it, the widows are above it,
Ev’rybody has their finger in the pie.
Some are so very haughty they think it’s very naughty,
But you c’n bet your life they’ll do it on the sly.

Collected from Victor 19813, as sung by Carl T. Sprague, recorded August 5, 1925.